I've been trying to read 'Prince of Thieves' by Chuck Hogan now for a while, but I've been so busy that it always seems to fall by the wayside. 'Prince of Thieves' if you didn't know is the book upon which the movie 'The Town' is based upon. Now the movie version of this story was just fucking amazing, I loved almost every minute of it when I went and saw it at theaters, and I even have already pre-ordered it on Amazon for next month that's how amazing it was to me.

Moving on though, there was a part in chapter 6 aptly named 'The Sponsor' in which Doug's sponsor Frank G. tells him, "Fine good. We got a problem here, let's address it.' Frank G.'s hands grappled with the air. 'You don't seem to realize that you are your friends. That's who you are--the people you attract, who you keep around you. Now, I'm a part of you right? Just a little taste, maybe--lucky dog, you. A bigger part is this goddamn cancer tumor part, I'm talking about your knucklehead friends."

This part spoke to most though because of what has been going on in my life in the last 6 months, basically a friendship overhaul of epic proportions has been going on. Right now there are only two friends that I still talk to that I've known for more than 5 years. I basically tried to wipe out every friend I had that was bad for me. The ones who start the drama and then accuse you of being the drama maker. The ones who are flakes. The ones who treat you like shit when you were their only good friend. Basically this amounted to two people who I've known for 5 years, both of them managed to ruin friendships with very little effort. One friend all it took was a sentence and I was done. The other took longer because it took longer to see the emergent pattern that began happening. This friend decided she would become buddy-buddy with my ex-boyfriend, someone she detested when we dated, so I find this hypocritical. I also find it hypocritical for them to call me the drama monger, when I'm not the one who had a life full of drama, was not the one who had mental issues or committment issues, was not the molsestee who never got counseling, was not a former drug addict, was not an alcoholic, was not the one who let people walk all over them and complained, was not the one who put up with peoples bullshit, was not the rumor spreader, nor was I the cheater in my relationship, was not the horrible friend, or the mama's boy, or the pathological liar, etc...

I had another good friend in there I just grew apart with, she was good with advice for me, but I absolutely detest people who ask for you advice and never take it, quit wasting my time. Because of my future profession I can no longer consciously support bad habits, especially those I know to be dangerous such as mixing pills and alcohol. I'm sorry some people just can't understand this, but I will not watch people destroy themselves, especially by mixing mental illness medication with alcohol when it's inadvisable and you've been told before that it's not a good habit. If you feel the need to do this to your life, you feel the need to do it without me.

I am now trying to live my life with a little more transparency, which mostly means I keep the number of friends I have down. This change also stems from what I'm trying to do in my life. I'm currently enrolled in a licensed practical nursing program until May 2011 when I will graduate and hopefully take and pass my NCLEX-PN, then in June 2011 I'm moving to Billings to start in on my registered nursing bachelors program. I have no time for people now, especially those who cannot decide whether they're going to be a decent person today or a shit sack.

I want a life where the only complications I'm encountering will be in the patients I will be caring for. I'm not a nurse for my friends, I'm a nurse because I want to help people who need my help and that actually want my help.

Someday I hope that my eventual goal of being a nurse will affect someones life in a positive way and this PostSecret card reminded me of this:

1. Finish January, February, March and June tasks still doable time and money-wise
2. Finish 2 pages in 'the book'
3. Finish 1 page in my journal
4. Work on my personal Moleskine pages
5. Continue working on decorating my new personal/school Moleskine
6. Update my list notebook
7. Update my music notebook
8. Update my movie list
9. Update my book list
10. Try to drink one quart (32 oz) of fluid per day
11. Continue working on my Firefox bookmarks
12. Compile a Nessa bookmark folder
13. Work on backupdating LiveJournal
14. Make 1 'Photo Post Friday' posts (Here & Tumblr)
15. Upload a new set of photos to Flickr
16. Watch 2 of my instant queue movies
17. Start on Season 1 of 'Deadliest Catch' on Netflix Instant
18. Set up Netflix for Wii
19. Start watching Season 1 of 'Mad Men' from my DVD queue
20. Try to get through 3 movies on my DVD queue
21. Watch Season 1 of 'White Collar'
22. Watch 'White Collar' Season 2 premiere
23. Watch 'Psych' Season 5 premiere
24. Watch 'Covert Affairs' premiere
25. Watch 'Rizzoli & Isles' premiere
26. Buy a new Mackbook Pro cover
27. Buy a Macbook Pro laptop sleeve
28. Have a 4th of July BBQ
29. Finish 'Along For The Ride'
30. Start reading 'The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo'
31. Start reading 'The Surgeon'

Tasks Completed 31/31

Photo taken of the Flathead River along Highway 2 on the way back from Marias Pass.

I think the thing I'm most excited about because of my acceptance into nursing school(s) is the school supplies I will get to use. If you knew anything about me since about high school and well into college is that I have a very well documented love of office supplies. In fact I can rarely walk into an OfficeMax or a Staples and even department stores without coming out with something office related. I'm a total addict, and I'm fine with that.

First up we have these:










Graph paper notebooks in two styles: spiral and wireless. I thought the unique aspect of using graph paper grids as opposed to lined paper was the easy ability to make charts, lists, etc... I know that every time I tried to do this in a normal notebook the result was disastrous even discounting my stellar lack of art skills. I suspect when I undertake my Pharmacology class this fall that this format will hopefully prove to be successful.


Also keeping in line with the graph theme I bought graph filler paper and gridded index cards, I bought 2 sizes, 3"x5" and 4"x6" (No link available). I also bought a big pack of these unruled 4"x6" index cards so as to be able to make quick note-style flashcards, I also thought this would be handy for Pharmacology.


I also bought these book rings so as to punch holes in the index cards to create my own handy dandy flashcards. I really like how this semester is turning out to be school supply wise.


Of course I'm buying supplies in preparation of the school year and logistically I'm buying items that could be used also in a non-school capacity. I am also reusing some supplies from previous years. I cannot believe the stock piled of college ruled filler paper that I am drowning in still to this day. One of the items I'm most excited in reusing is the Mead Flex NoteBinder. I love the idea of the rings being open so as to completely be able to flip the binder open and be able to continue writing like a notebook but everything is still binder-style organized with tabs and pockets. I own 2 of these already from my last semester of college and I've since filed away the papers they used to hold and will hopefully be re-purposing them this fall.


I am also a big proponent of page flags and markers as a way to make important areas of textbooks as places of future interest, current place, etc... I really like the Post-It Durable Tabs. I also have several just paper ones that say "Where I Left Off", "On The Test" with areas of space to write, and "Study" with areas of space to write. I also have a few with the symbols ", ??, and !!!! (No links available).


Now over the last year I've gotten way too far into pens. While I'm a firm believer in Uni-Ball pens in all their various forms I have found that they are not all that great when writing on lined paper whether filler paper or notebooks and often they show through and therefore don't provide maximization of paper, which in a notebook especially makes it hard to gauge your usage and whether a notebook will last as long as you intend it to.


I have found that cheaper pens such as Bic Round Stic Grip Ballpoint Pens in various colors are a lot better at helping solve the bleed through problems I was encountering. I think any cheapish pen will do and I have also picked up several on sale kinds from WalGreens on occasion.


This fall I will also be using pencils and I prefer these Dixon Ticonderoga pencils. They've been my standby all throughout high school and college. I also picked up some new erasers to replace the art eraser I got in like 9th grade art class. I bought this lovely 4 set of Staedtler Mars Plastic Erasers. Staedtler is a brand I've fallen in love with since I got into Moleskine planners. They're German and anyone who knows me knows I also love German things BMW, Audi, Volkswagen, sauerkraut, etc... For regular writing on things like post its I also invested in some Staedtler Liquid Point 7's. So far I really seem to like these, but I suspect they are like Uni-Ball pens when it comes to thinner papers. Overall I like that they came with 4 colors and a little pouch in which to carry them.


Next up we have highlighters, hoo boy. So far I've been using these highlighters I bought from OfficeMax during high school at least 3 years ago. They're nothing special, but they get the job done.


Earlier this year I found some erasable highlighters that I just thought were totally awesome! They work pretty decently and I cannot wait to try using them on a more regular basis this fall.


The last of the supplies I have bought so far was a pack of 5 top bound memo books for writing in during clinical time. I figure I could keep this inside my pockets and it will help remember important items said during those times and information I will need to write down in a chart, etc... I figure I will make sure to buy some more of the Uni-Ball 207 retractable pens to keep in my pocket as well.


Next up is my organization for keeping track of everything this fall. I optimize a weekly planner layout. Right now I'm using a Moleskine Weekly Notebook Extra Large from July 2010 - December 2011. I also have a Moleskine Weekly Notebook Large for July 2009 - December 2010. Both have similar layouts, but are just different sizes. I plan to use the smaller one to keep track of personal business until it's done and the larger one to keep track of school mostly, but with personal stuff thrown in.


I use several sets of different pens when writing in my planner pages. These pages are fairly thin so you cannot just use any regular pen as there is risk for tearing and bleed through. First is Staedtler Triplus Fineliner pens. While these are good for writing in Moleskines they are not really everyday writing pens, especially because of their size. These pens are 0.3 mm which is a very superfine tip. The pens come in both 10 packs and 20 packs featuring different colors. I also love the packaging that these pens come in. It's designed to be able to stand up, but I've never used it like that, but the case does keep it the pens very neatly organized.


Next up is Staedtler Triplus Color Markers, which are still a fine tip, but they are thicker than the Triplus Fineliner pens. These are nice when you want a thicker definition than the regular Triplus fineliner pens. These are supposedly about 1.0 mm thick. Another fun feature of the Staedtler pens is they employ Dry Safe technology which means you can leave them uncapped for days. I haven't tested this, but I like the idea.


The next set of pens I like to use are Stabilo Point 88 Fineliner Pens. These are very similar to the Staedtler Triplus Fineliners, but slightly larger at 0.4 mm. There are a few color differences between the two brands, which is why I like having both of them.



This is pretty much the overall gist of how I plan to keep on top of everything in the coming months and years. I think in coming posts I will try to post scans of my planner and point out some of the supplies I use within it specifically and not just for school.

I suppose I somewhat have a focus for this blog now, one that I most definitely can live with especially when it comes to sharing. For a while my future has somewhat been up in the air. I always intended to go to college I was just never completely sure what for. Thankfully I'm a little more squared away now.

I originally started out as a physical sciences (Chemistry/Biology, I forget which one) major when I first entered college after high school, but when thinking of ways I could complete all my education at the same school, the University of Montana, I opted for a major change and went the way of being a Pre-Pharmacy major because UM has a Pharmacy school on campus, but after a year it was pretty clear to me that this was not the real path I wanted to go down.

As I began re-evaluating the best major change for me I took stock of the Nursing programs offered at the College of Technology for the same university and decided my first plan of action was to obtain a licensed practical nursing associate degree and then continue on in their 2 year registered nursing program, but in reality with as much as I had to put into a 2 year registered nursing degree it seemed more applicable to just go for a full out 4 year bachelors of science in nursing degree (BSN).

I spent the remaining 2 years I was not studying Pre-Pharmacy working on pre-requisite classes for the LPN program at UM-COT and for the RN program at MSU. Luckily a lot of the classes for each different program have the same base, so it's like killing two birds with one stone. A lot of my pre-requisites from my Pre-Pharmacy days counted towards some of my general educations requirements, but a bunch did not count towards my Nursing pre-requisites, but luckily the classes were still beneficial overall.

I lived in Missoula, the home of UM for a total of 3 years and I can honestly say at least 2 of those years were some of the most miserable times of my life. Missoula was and will never be my home, it will also never be a town that 'gets' me. I drive my SUV with pride while people in Missoula love their bikes and their hybrids, well good for them but I don't need it shoved down my throat. When it came time to apply for a placement at the COT I realized I really did not want to be in Missoula for another 2 years, so I opted not to apply into the LPN program there, but instead in my hometown where there was a program at my local community college. Luckily most of the needed classes for FVCC were pretty identical for UM-COT.

Thankfully and luckilyy I was accepted into the LPN program for Fall Semester 2010, which is a load off of my back for sure. This means for a year I will be able to live back at home, in an environment I'm extremely comfortable with. I'm also looking forward to have very small class sizes. The LPN program here accepts 20 people, up from the 10 they used to accept, which means there will a good environment in which to learn. I'm hoping this environment will help prepare for what comes after this academic school year.

This summer I'm working on reviewing Anatomy & Physiology since it's been about a year since my initial A&P I class. I most definitely need a review. While I did learn while in the initial class I was distracted from being in Missoula and some of it fell through the cracks, but luckily I'm hoping the review will come quickly. I'm most definitely not looking forward to reviewing muscle and bone nomenclature and functions, but I must.

It's also with great excitement I get to say that I've been accepted into Montana State University - Bozeman's Registered Nursing program starting in a year and a half. After my LPN program is done I will take my NCLEX-PN and hopefully pass. By taking the LPN program I both fulfill my academic requirement for Bozeman and will be able to use this degree as a job opportunity during my RN schooling.

In Summer 2011 I start my lower division nursing classes and then in Spring 2012 my upper division nursing classes start. I still don't know where I will be placed until August 31st. I'm hoping to either remain in Kalispell or end up in Billings where my Aunt and my Uncle live and where I will at least have family. That was what sucked so bad about Missoula was the lack of hardly anybody I knew. It's very hard to feel connected to reality when you feel so alone.

Overall I'm excited for the next 3 1/2 years of my life and I finally feel like things are coming together and I hope to be able to share my experiences.

-Courtney

I'm Courtney, I'm a 21 year old college student who still lives at home while going to school, and probably will unless I meet that mythical 'special someone.' I'm currently single and I don't have a problem with that. I spent a portion of my life with someone else and it didn't end well, so I'm not willing to commit to anything besides school and work.

I named this blog 'The Cynister' because that kind of is me. I call myself a realist to try to divert away from calling myself a pessimist. Real life to me is not sunshine and rainbows and I absolutely detest when people try to make it out to be that way. Reality is not kind and I'm not someone who really likes to beat around that bush. Not all of my opinions are negative, but I really do try to live life realistically which sometimes results in people calling me negative when I choose to point out things realistically, which really doesn't bother me.

I live life by two mottos: "Something wicked this way comes." and "The only person you can trust is yourself." The former is a reminder to me that I am someone and something to be reckoned with. I don't like games, drama, etc... and this is where I stand my ground. The latter motto is just a reminder that sometimes that mantra about people not changing is true, and that it is untrue especially when your best friend turns on you. Life is not always kind, but it is not always stormy, it's about making your way through the muck and mire while keeping yourself afloat.

So here I am still without an idea to really focus on for this Blogger, but I guess this fact doesn't bother me that much, but I definitely don't want to sit here and try to use this to dissect my life, I do enough of that in private.

So I guess this will just have to be my place of goals and sharing, no matter how inane.

Welcome, I guess.

So my lists basically dropped off for April and May which were very busy months for finishing up school and moving out of Missoula for good hopefully. Now that life has somewhat calmed back down and I'm able to focus on small term goals again.

1. Finish January, February, and March tasks still doable time and money-wise
2. Finish 2 pages in 'the book'
   
3. Finish 1 page in my journal
4. Work on my personal Moleskine pages
5. Work on decorating my new personal/school Moleskine
6. Scan in Moleskine pages
7. Buy some planner supplies off of Etsy
8. Update my list notebook
9. Update my music notebook
10. Update my movie list
11. Work on organizing my Firefox bookmarks
12. Work on backupdating LiveJournal
13. Try to drink one quart (32 oz) of fluid per day
14. Sign up for Netflix
    
15. Watch at least 3 instant queue movies
16. Attempt to watch 'The Angry Beavers' Season 1 on Netflix
17. Attempt to get through 3 movies on my DVD queue
18. Watch Season 1 of Dark Blue
19. Renew my Flickr Pro membership
20. Attempt to pick a font for the new tattoo
21. Begin researching watch options
22. Register for FVCC LPN classes
23. Look for index card solutions
24. Finish CNA classes
25. Begin reviewing A&P concepts
26. Watch Royal Pains season premiere
27. Watch Glee season finale
28. Have a Father's Day BBQ
29. Finish reading 'Vienna Blood'
30. Put 'Along For The Ride' on hold at the library

Tasks Complete 30/30

1. Finish January and February tasks still doable time and money-wise.
2. Finish 1 page in 'the book'
3. Finish 1 page in my journal
4. Drink at least one quart (32 oz) of fluid per day
5. Use my fluoride toothpaste at least once a week
6. Work on my list Moleskine
7. Update my password Moleskine
8. Update my book/music Moleskine
9. Work on my personal Moleskine pages
10. Work on my personal Moleskine front pages
11. Work on my personal Moleskine photo collage
12. Keep my school planner up to date
13. Get March's whiteboard calendar done
14. Continue organizing my Firefox bookmarks
15. Put more of my files onto my Macbook Pro
16. Update my flash drive
17. Update/organize my external hard drive
18. Attempt to organize my photo folders
    
19. Turn in my time cards (x2)
20. Turn in my hire card
21. Correct my FAFSA
22. Turn in items FVCC needs
23. Request transcripts from FHS and UM
24. Get Grizz neutered
25. Get my hair cut
26. Clean out my bathroom products of outdated items
27. Clean out my purse of outdated items
28. Move Drarmos to Gnorbificent
29. Finish BIOL 107 - Introduction to Microbiology Lab
30. ENJOY SPRING BREAK!
31. Go to see The Flip Wilsons with Ruthy

Tasks Completed 31/31

1. Finish January tasks still doable time and money-wise
2. Finish 2 pages in 'the book'
3. Finish 2 pages in my journal
4. Drink at least one quart (32 oz) of fluid per day
5. Use my fluoride toothpaste at least once a week
6. Work on my list Moleskine
7. Update my password Moleskine
8. Update my book/music Moleskine
9. Work on my personal Moleskine pages
10. Work on my personal Moleskine front pages
11. Work on my personal Moleskine photo collage
12. Keep my school planner up to date
13. Get February's whiteboard calendar done
14. Renew my drivers license
15. Start my new work study job
16. Turn in my hire packet
17. Continue organizing my bookmarks
18. Obtain the 'Sell! SELL!!' avatar
19. Buy Zombieland
20. Buy The Sims 3 High-End Loft Stuff
    
21. Rewatch Hogan's Heroes Season 1
22. Schedule Grizz's neutering
23. Schedule my next medical appointments
24. Schedule a hair appointment
    
25. Change my Verizon billing address
26. Get my Storm 2 cover on
27. Go to Johnny Carino's
28. Turn 21!

Tasks Completed 28/28

1. Finish 5 pages in 'the book'
2. Finish 2 pages in my journal
3. Work on my list Moleskine
4. Update my password Moleskine
5. Update my book/music Moleskine
6. Work on my personal Moleskine pages
7. Work on my personal Moleskine front pages
8. Work on my personal Moleskine photo collage
9. Prepare my school planner
10. Prepare a school schedule
11. Download the Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist soundtrack
12. Download an album by Islands
13. Download an album by Three Days Grace
14. Work on my bracelet
15. Visit Dollar Tree
16. Visit Ben Franklin
17. Take Grizz to his vet appointment
18. Visit Alley Connection
19. Organize my bookmarks
20. Finish 'The Lost Symbol'
21. Read 'A Death in Vienna'
22. Read 'Vienna Blood'
23. Watch the Psych premiere!
24. Watch 'Up In The Air'
25. Watch 'Land of the Lost'
26. Watch 'Where The Wild Things Are'
27. Finish watching Psych Season 2
28. Finish watching Dexter Season 3
29. Catch up on The Big Bang Theory Season 3
30. Watch The Big Bang Theory Season 2
31. Start Spring Semester 2010!

Tasks Completed 31/31

I don't make resolutions, it's just not a me thing.
I tend to think of a more small-term scale than a large-term scale.

I'm very pleased with how well I did with setting a small, completable goals per month.
I'm going to wipe clean everything I did not do last year and star anew.
See you on the other side 2010 =].