I know I shouldn't be nervous about starting into my BSN degree, I mean according to the state of Montana I am a licensed practical nurse right about now. I mean I have a copy of my license in my room right now. I successfully completed an LPN program, took my NCLEX-PN, and drove the 4 hours home fretting about whether I passed only to be told 3 hours in by my Mom who I had camped out on the MT State Board of Nursing page awaiting the addition of my name. All of this should mean that I shouldn't feel any pressure continuing on in my education as I've gotten a head start on others in regards to medications, medication administration, medication rights, etc...

Granted I'm still behind when it comes to direct patient care. I'm not a CNA and even with my previous education I didn't do too much of it, but as an RN I know I will need to be more proficient. At least I know an area where I need improvement.

I'm not excited to move for a semester back to the city that I hate. I am excited after that semester to move to a city 8 hours away from my parents and move in with my Mom's brother and sister and live there for 2 years until I'm done. My parents and I have an interesting relationship, so it will be nice for the first time to actually be living apart from them.

All in all I think I'm the one who's overanalyzing and letting this get to me.

School starts August 29th. I'm still waiting on the information to tell me what books we need and blah blah blah and maybe that's what's making me nervous.

Say it with me now: 5 semesters left.

1. Finish January, February, March and June tasks still doable time and money-wise
2. Finish 2 pages in 'the book'
3. Finish 1 page in my journal
4. Work on my personal Moleskine pages
5. Continue working on decorating my new personal/school Moleskine
6. Update my list notebook
7. Update my music notebook
8. Update my movie list
9. Update my book list
10. Try to drink one quart (32 oz) of fluid per day
11. Continue working on my Firefox bookmarks
12. Compile a Nessa bookmark folder
13. Work on backupdating LiveJournal
14. Make 1 'Photo Post Friday' posts (Here & Tumblr)
15. Upload a new set of photos to Flickr
16. Watch 2 of my instant queue movies
17. Start on Season 1 of 'Deadliest Catch' on Netflix Instant
18. Set up Netflix for Wii
19. Start watching Season 1 of 'Mad Men' from my DVD queue
20. Try to get through 3 movies on my DVD queue
21. Watch Season 1 of 'White Collar'
22. Watch 'White Collar' Season 2 premiere
23. Watch 'Psych' Season 5 premiere
24. Watch 'Covert Affairs' premiere
25. Watch 'Rizzoli & Isles' premiere
26. Buy a new Mackbook Pro cover
27. Buy a Macbook Pro laptop sleeve
28. Have a 4th of July BBQ
29. Finish 'Along For The Ride'
30. Start reading 'The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo'
31. Start reading 'The Surgeon'

Tasks Completed 31/31

Photo taken of the Flathead River along Highway 2 on the way back from Marias Pass.

I suppose I somewhat have a focus for this blog now, one that I most definitely can live with especially when it comes to sharing. For a while my future has somewhat been up in the air. I always intended to go to college I was just never completely sure what for. Thankfully I'm a little more squared away now.

I originally started out as a physical sciences (Chemistry/Biology, I forget which one) major when I first entered college after high school, but when thinking of ways I could complete all my education at the same school, the University of Montana, I opted for a major change and went the way of being a Pre-Pharmacy major because UM has a Pharmacy school on campus, but after a year it was pretty clear to me that this was not the real path I wanted to go down.

As I began re-evaluating the best major change for me I took stock of the Nursing programs offered at the College of Technology for the same university and decided my first plan of action was to obtain a licensed practical nursing associate degree and then continue on in their 2 year registered nursing program, but in reality with as much as I had to put into a 2 year registered nursing degree it seemed more applicable to just go for a full out 4 year bachelors of science in nursing degree (BSN).

I spent the remaining 2 years I was not studying Pre-Pharmacy working on pre-requisite classes for the LPN program at UM-COT and for the RN program at MSU. Luckily a lot of the classes for each different program have the same base, so it's like killing two birds with one stone. A lot of my pre-requisites from my Pre-Pharmacy days counted towards some of my general educations requirements, but a bunch did not count towards my Nursing pre-requisites, but luckily the classes were still beneficial overall.

I lived in Missoula, the home of UM for a total of 3 years and I can honestly say at least 2 of those years were some of the most miserable times of my life. Missoula was and will never be my home, it will also never be a town that 'gets' me. I drive my SUV with pride while people in Missoula love their bikes and their hybrids, well good for them but I don't need it shoved down my throat. When it came time to apply for a placement at the COT I realized I really did not want to be in Missoula for another 2 years, so I opted not to apply into the LPN program there, but instead in my hometown where there was a program at my local community college. Luckily most of the needed classes for FVCC were pretty identical for UM-COT.

Thankfully and luckilyy I was accepted into the LPN program for Fall Semester 2010, which is a load off of my back for sure. This means for a year I will be able to live back at home, in an environment I'm extremely comfortable with. I'm also looking forward to have very small class sizes. The LPN program here accepts 20 people, up from the 10 they used to accept, which means there will a good environment in which to learn. I'm hoping this environment will help prepare for what comes after this academic school year.

This summer I'm working on reviewing Anatomy & Physiology since it's been about a year since my initial A&P I class. I most definitely need a review. While I did learn while in the initial class I was distracted from being in Missoula and some of it fell through the cracks, but luckily I'm hoping the review will come quickly. I'm most definitely not looking forward to reviewing muscle and bone nomenclature and functions, but I must.

It's also with great excitement I get to say that I've been accepted into Montana State University - Bozeman's Registered Nursing program starting in a year and a half. After my LPN program is done I will take my NCLEX-PN and hopefully pass. By taking the LPN program I both fulfill my academic requirement for Bozeman and will be able to use this degree as a job opportunity during my RN schooling.

In Summer 2011 I start my lower division nursing classes and then in Spring 2012 my upper division nursing classes start. I still don't know where I will be placed until August 31st. I'm hoping to either remain in Kalispell or end up in Billings where my Aunt and my Uncle live and where I will at least have family. That was what sucked so bad about Missoula was the lack of hardly anybody I knew. It's very hard to feel connected to reality when you feel so alone.

Overall I'm excited for the next 3 1/2 years of my life and I finally feel like things are coming together and I hope to be able to share my experiences.

-Courtney

I'm Courtney, I'm a 21 year old college student who still lives at home while going to school, and probably will unless I meet that mythical 'special someone.' I'm currently single and I don't have a problem with that. I spent a portion of my life with someone else and it didn't end well, so I'm not willing to commit to anything besides school and work.

I named this blog 'The Cynister' because that kind of is me. I call myself a realist to try to divert away from calling myself a pessimist. Real life to me is not sunshine and rainbows and I absolutely detest when people try to make it out to be that way. Reality is not kind and I'm not someone who really likes to beat around that bush. Not all of my opinions are negative, but I really do try to live life realistically which sometimes results in people calling me negative when I choose to point out things realistically, which really doesn't bother me.

I live life by two mottos: "Something wicked this way comes." and "The only person you can trust is yourself." The former is a reminder to me that I am someone and something to be reckoned with. I don't like games, drama, etc... and this is where I stand my ground. The latter motto is just a reminder that sometimes that mantra about people not changing is true, and that it is untrue especially when your best friend turns on you. Life is not always kind, but it is not always stormy, it's about making your way through the muck and mire while keeping yourself afloat.

So here I am still without an idea to really focus on for this Blogger, but I guess this fact doesn't bother me that much, but I definitely don't want to sit here and try to use this to dissect my life, I do enough of that in private.

So I guess this will just have to be my place of goals and sharing, no matter how inane.

Welcome, I guess.

So my lists basically dropped off for April and May which were very busy months for finishing up school and moving out of Missoula for good hopefully. Now that life has somewhat calmed back down and I'm able to focus on small term goals again.

1. Finish January, February, and March tasks still doable time and money-wise
2. Finish 2 pages in 'the book'
   
3. Finish 1 page in my journal
4. Work on my personal Moleskine pages
5. Work on decorating my new personal/school Moleskine
6. Scan in Moleskine pages
7. Buy some planner supplies off of Etsy
8. Update my list notebook
9. Update my music notebook
10. Update my movie list
11. Work on organizing my Firefox bookmarks
12. Work on backupdating LiveJournal
13. Try to drink one quart (32 oz) of fluid per day
14. Sign up for Netflix
    
15. Watch at least 3 instant queue movies
16. Attempt to watch 'The Angry Beavers' Season 1 on Netflix
17. Attempt to get through 3 movies on my DVD queue
18. Watch Season 1 of Dark Blue
19. Renew my Flickr Pro membership
20. Attempt to pick a font for the new tattoo
21. Begin researching watch options
22. Register for FVCC LPN classes
23. Look for index card solutions
24. Finish CNA classes
25. Begin reviewing A&P concepts
26. Watch Royal Pains season premiere
27. Watch Glee season finale
28. Have a Father's Day BBQ
29. Finish reading 'Vienna Blood'
30. Put 'Along For The Ride' on hold at the library

Tasks Complete 30/30

1. Finish January and February tasks still doable time and money-wise.
2. Finish 1 page in 'the book'
3. Finish 1 page in my journal
4. Drink at least one quart (32 oz) of fluid per day
5. Use my fluoride toothpaste at least once a week
6. Work on my list Moleskine
7. Update my password Moleskine
8. Update my book/music Moleskine
9. Work on my personal Moleskine pages
10. Work on my personal Moleskine front pages
11. Work on my personal Moleskine photo collage
12. Keep my school planner up to date
13. Get March's whiteboard calendar done
14. Continue organizing my Firefox bookmarks
15. Put more of my files onto my Macbook Pro
16. Update my flash drive
17. Update/organize my external hard drive
18. Attempt to organize my photo folders
    
19. Turn in my time cards (x2)
20. Turn in my hire card
21. Correct my FAFSA
22. Turn in items FVCC needs
23. Request transcripts from FHS and UM
24. Get Grizz neutered
25. Get my hair cut
26. Clean out my bathroom products of outdated items
27. Clean out my purse of outdated items
28. Move Drarmos to Gnorbificent
29. Finish BIOL 107 - Introduction to Microbiology Lab
30. ENJOY SPRING BREAK!
31. Go to see The Flip Wilsons with Ruthy

Tasks Completed 31/31

1. Finish January tasks still doable time and money-wise
2. Finish 2 pages in 'the book'
3. Finish 2 pages in my journal
4. Drink at least one quart (32 oz) of fluid per day
5. Use my fluoride toothpaste at least once a week
6. Work on my list Moleskine
7. Update my password Moleskine
8. Update my book/music Moleskine
9. Work on my personal Moleskine pages
10. Work on my personal Moleskine front pages
11. Work on my personal Moleskine photo collage
12. Keep my school planner up to date
13. Get February's whiteboard calendar done
14. Renew my drivers license
15. Start my new work study job
16. Turn in my hire packet
17. Continue organizing my bookmarks
18. Obtain the 'Sell! SELL!!' avatar
19. Buy Zombieland
20. Buy The Sims 3 High-End Loft Stuff
    
21. Rewatch Hogan's Heroes Season 1
22. Schedule Grizz's neutering
23. Schedule my next medical appointments
24. Schedule a hair appointment
    
25. Change my Verizon billing address
26. Get my Storm 2 cover on
27. Go to Johnny Carino's
28. Turn 21!

Tasks Completed 28/28

1. Finish 5 pages in 'the book'
2. Finish 2 pages in my journal
3. Work on my list Moleskine
4. Update my password Moleskine
5. Update my book/music Moleskine
6. Work on my personal Moleskine pages
7. Work on my personal Moleskine front pages
8. Work on my personal Moleskine photo collage
9. Prepare my school planner
10. Prepare a school schedule
11. Download the Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist soundtrack
12. Download an album by Islands
13. Download an album by Three Days Grace
14. Work on my bracelet
15. Visit Dollar Tree
16. Visit Ben Franklin
17. Take Grizz to his vet appointment
18. Visit Alley Connection
19. Organize my bookmarks
20. Finish 'The Lost Symbol'
21. Read 'A Death in Vienna'
22. Read 'Vienna Blood'
23. Watch the Psych premiere!
24. Watch 'Up In The Air'
25. Watch 'Land of the Lost'
26. Watch 'Where The Wild Things Are'
27. Finish watching Psych Season 2
28. Finish watching Dexter Season 3
29. Catch up on The Big Bang Theory Season 3
30. Watch The Big Bang Theory Season 2
31. Start Spring Semester 2010!

Tasks Completed 31/31

I don't make resolutions, it's just not a me thing.
I tend to think of a more small-term scale than a large-term scale.

I'm very pleased with how well I did with setting a small, completable goals per month.
I'm going to wipe clean everything I did not do last year and star anew.
See you on the other side 2010 =].