I know I shouldn't be nervous about starting into my BSN degree, I mean according to the state of Montana I am a licensed practical nurse right about now. I mean I have a copy of my license in my room right now. I successfully completed an LPN program, took my NCLEX-PN, and drove the 4 hours home fretting about whether I passed only to be told 3 hours in by my Mom who I had camped out on the MT State Board of Nursing page awaiting the addition of my name. All of this should mean that I shouldn't feel any pressure continuing on in my education as I've gotten a head start on others in regards to medications, medication administration, medication rights, etc...

Granted I'm still behind when it comes to direct patient care. I'm not a CNA and even with my previous education I didn't do too much of it, but as an RN I know I will need to be more proficient. At least I know an area where I need improvement.

I'm not excited to move for a semester back to the city that I hate. I am excited after that semester to move to a city 8 hours away from my parents and move in with my Mom's brother and sister and live there for 2 years until I'm done. My parents and I have an interesting relationship, so it will be nice for the first time to actually be living apart from them.

All in all I think I'm the one who's overanalyzing and letting this get to me.

School starts August 29th. I'm still waiting on the information to tell me what books we need and blah blah blah and maybe that's what's making me nervous.

Say it with me now: 5 semesters left.

I'm Courtney, I'm a 21 year old college student who still lives at home while going to school, and probably will unless I meet that mythical 'special someone.' I'm currently single and I don't have a problem with that. I spent a portion of my life with someone else and it didn't end well, so I'm not willing to commit to anything besides school and work.

I named this blog 'The Cynister' because that kind of is me. I call myself a realist to try to divert away from calling myself a pessimist. Real life to me is not sunshine and rainbows and I absolutely detest when people try to make it out to be that way. Reality is not kind and I'm not someone who really likes to beat around that bush. Not all of my opinions are negative, but I really do try to live life realistically which sometimes results in people calling me negative when I choose to point out things realistically, which really doesn't bother me.

I live life by two mottos: "Something wicked this way comes." and "The only person you can trust is yourself." The former is a reminder to me that I am someone and something to be reckoned with. I don't like games, drama, etc... and this is where I stand my ground. The latter motto is just a reminder that sometimes that mantra about people not changing is true, and that it is untrue especially when your best friend turns on you. Life is not always kind, but it is not always stormy, it's about making your way through the muck and mire while keeping yourself afloat.

So here I am still without an idea to really focus on for this Blogger, but I guess this fact doesn't bother me that much, but I definitely don't want to sit here and try to use this to dissect my life, I do enough of that in private.

So I guess this will just have to be my place of goals and sharing, no matter how inane.

Welcome, I guess.